My
dad had a car with
a push button starter. I remember being small enough to *drive*
that
car by sitting INSIDE the steering wheel. We went in that car to
Pittsburgh, and I got to meet Roberto Clemente and Bill Mazeroski and
some
other Pirates.
Dad wasn't rich,
or famous, or *special* in any way, except he was MY dad. Even
tempered,
he would always look out for the underdog in any situation. He
was
always *young* for his age......looked young, acted young, and
was
healthy, hardworking, and had a great sense of humor. He taught
me
about honesty. He taught me to ridea bike, and put together
several
while I was growing up. He taught me to drive, and while he never
gave me a car, he saw that transportation was always provided. He
took me to the library for my first library card, and he took me to the
bank to open my first account.
My family wasn't
big on hugs, or verbal expressions of love, yet I know he loves
me.
10 years ago something happened to turn dad's world upside down, and it
also made my whole family realize just how important family love
and
support can be, and we ALL became a little freer with hugs and *I love
yous.*
An industrial accident
threw 40 pounds of spinning metal crashing into his skull. And it
basically took a whole year for him to get back up to
speed.
And he was very lucky in a lot of ways. Basically,aside from the
accident really AGING him, his only lasting deficits were some
visual
disturbances, slight hearing loss, and a total loss of
numbers.
He got his drivers license back, and went back to work for another
year,
mainly to prove that he could.
This
is long, and I apologize. But the story is long
itself.
During that year
of recovery, dad made lots of mistakes. And asked silly
questions,
and sometimes gave silly answers. But we got through
it.
It's 10 years down the line now, and things are changing again. It
seems
that my even tempered dad has some mood swings now, and almost
childlike
temper tantrums at times. His vision is REALLY bad, so he
doesn't
drive anymore, and for that I am thankful.
But there's
more.
Sometimes he can't figure out how to hang up a shirt. Or how to
put
ON a shirt. Or at the dinner table, what to do with a
fork.
He has a vacant look in his eyes most of the time now, and I can feel
him
slipping away. Sometimes he knows me, and sometimes he
doesn't.
I was home for a
visit recently, and noticed these changes and more, just in 3 months
time.
I saw my dad talk to someone who wasn't there, and invite that
invisible
person to dinner. I saw him lose his balance several
times.
He rarely goes out alone anymore, since he doesn't think he can
find
his way back home. Since I visited, he has been
calling
my mom by MY name.
He has lots
of trouble finding the right words to say, and sometimes I can't
understand
what he means. His DR says it's Alzheimer's, which comes as no
surprise.
I love my dad even tho he isn't who he used to be. There is
less and less of him each time I see him. But in honor of
him,
and all the old geezers out there, I thought I'd just publicly say Dad......I
love you.
And to all of you
who took the time to read this, maybe the man with his shirt buttoned
up
wrong isn't a homeless bum. Maybe the man who can't pay the
cashier
the correct amount of money isn't stupid. Maybe he's someone's
dad....and
maybe he's mine. Just smile at him, and say Hello......he still has a
killer
smile!
What you have just
read is a true story based on the experiences of Lisa. When I first
read
the story..It brought tears to my eyes and every time I have read it
since
then it has touched me in the same way. Because there are so many
lessons
to be learned from this experience...I knew it was a story that needed
to be shared with the world.
My
dad is finally
healthy and at peace, 16
years after his life-altering head injury. He had been unable to
care for himself for the past 3 years, and in the past month had very
rapidly
declined. I had stayed at mom's as long as possible,
then left for Maine on Saturday, to start a new contract
Monday.
Dad died Sunday evening.
Not
wanting to fly on
9/11 which was Monday, I flew back home on Tuesday. Although
death
and dying are a very normal part of the life cycle, funerals and
viewings
have never been easy for me. Dad's viewing was Tuesday evening,
and
I have to say, now I'm glad we had it. He looked better than he
had
for quite some time, and one corner of his mouth was slightly upturned
like he was getting ready to smile. The church
service
was Wednesday, then the graveside service was in a town 3 hours away on
Thursday.
These
days were filled
with family & friends, as well as coworkers and church
friends.
We all got to hear stories about dad from people who knew him on a
daily
basis. The recurring theme seemed to be that he was special, that
there was just something about dad that was kind & special, and
that
everyone was his friend.
This
is the song I had
played for that special man. (I was very touched that so many
hadn't
heard the song, and that so many were very obviously moved by it.)
When
I Get Where I'm
Goin'
When I get
where I'm goin'
On the far side of
the sky
The first thing
that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings
and fly
I'm gonna land
beside a lion
Run my fingers
through his mane
Or I might find
out what it's like
To ride a drop of
rain
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
There'll be only
happy tears
I will shed the
sins and struggles
I have carried all
these years
And I'll leave my
heart wide open
I will love and
have no fear
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
Don't cry for me
down here
I'm gonna walk
with my grand daddy
And he'll match me
step for step
And I'll tell him
how I missed him
Every minute since
he left
Then I'll hug his
neck
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
There'll be only
happy tears
I will shed the
sins and struggles
I have carried all
these years
And I'll leave my
heart wide open
I will love and
have no fear
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
Don't cry for me
down here
So much pain
and so much darkness
In this world we
stumble through
All these
questions I can't answer
So much work to do
But when I get
where I'm goin'
And I see my
maker's face
I'll stand forever
in the light
Of his amazing
grace
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
Oh when I get
where I'm goin'
There'll be only
happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and
have no fear
When I get where
I'm goin'
Yeah when I get
where I'm goin'
Sung
By: Brad
Paisley & Dolly Parton
<>
I love you,
Dad!
August 10, 1927-
September 10, 2006.
Daddy's
Hands
I remember
daddy's hands folded silently
in prayer
and reaching out
to hold me when I had
a nightmare
you could read
quite a story in the caluses
and lines
years of work and
worry had left their
mark behind
I remember
daddy's hands how they held
my momma tight
and patted my back
for something done
right
there are things
that i've forgotten that
I loved about the man
but I'll always
remember the love in daddy's
hands
Daddy's hands
were soft and kind when I
was cryin
Daddy's hands were
hard as steel when
I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand
weren't always gentle but
I've come to understand
there was always
love in daddy's hands
I remember
daddy's hands working til they
bled
sacrificed
unselfishly just to keep us
all fed
If I could
do things over, I'd live
my life again
and never take for
granted the love in
daddy's hands
Daddy's hands
were soft and kind when I
was cryin
Daddy's hands were
hard as steel when
I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand
weren't always gentle but
I've come to understand
there was always
love in daddy's hands
Daddy's hands
were soft and kind when I
was cryin
Daddy's hands were
hard as steel when
I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand
weren't always gentle but
I've come to understand
there was
always love in daddy's
hands
