For all of us who have lost someone...
Or have been lost TO someone...Especially for Lisa...
who allowed me to tell her story on this page!
(P.S. Lisa...I have yet to read it with dry eyes)

Lisa's Story

(From the song "My Dad"...Sung by: Paul Peterson on the Donna Reed Show)
*He isn't much in the eyes of the world
He'll never make history 
No, he isn't much in the eyes of the world
But he is the world to me*

Dad wasn't rich, or famous, or *special* in any way, except he was MY dad.  Even tempered, he would always look out for the underdog in any situation.  He was always *young* for his age......looked young,  acted young, and was healthy, hardworking, and had  a great sense of humor. He taught me about honesty.  He taught me to ridea bike, and put together several while I was growing up.  He taught me to drive, and while he never gave me a car, he saw that transportation was always provided.  He took me to the library for my first library card, and he took me to the bank to open my first account.

My family wasn't big on hugs, or verbal expressions of love, yet I know he loves me.  10 years ago something happened to turn dad's world upside down, and it also made my whole family realize just how important family love and  support can be, and we ALL became a little freer with hugs and *I love yous.* 

An industrial accident threw 40 pounds of spinning metal crashing into his skull.  And it basically took a whole year for him to get back up to speed.   And he was very lucky in a lot of ways.  Basically,aside from the accident really AGING him,  his only lasting deficits were some visual disturbances, slight hearing loss, and a total loss of numbers.   He got his drivers license back, and went back to work for another year, mainly to prove that he could.

During that year of recovery, dad made lots of mistakes.  And asked silly questions, and sometimes gave silly answers.   But we got through it.  It's 10 years down the line now, and things are changing again. It seems that my even tempered dad has some mood swings now, and almost childlike temper tantrums at times.   His vision is REALLY bad, so he doesn't drive anymore, and for that I am thankful. 

But there's more.   Sometimes he can't figure out how to hang up a shirt.  Or how to put ON a shirt.  Or at the dinner table, what to do with a fork.   He has a vacant look in his eyes most of the time now, and I can feel him slipping away.  Sometimes he knows me, and sometimes he doesn't. 

I was home for a visit recently, and noticed these changes and more, just in 3 months time.   I saw my dad talk to someone who wasn't there, and invite that invisible person to dinner.  I saw him lose his balance several times.   He  rarely goes out alone anymore, since he doesn't think he can find his way back  home.   Since I visited, he has been calling my mom by MY name. 

He has  lots of trouble finding the right words to say, and sometimes I can't understand what he means.  His DR says it's Alzheimer's, which comes as no surprise.     I love my dad even tho he isn't who he used to be.   There is less and less of him each time I see him.   But in honor of him, and all the old geezers out there, I thought I'd just publicly say Dad......I love you. 

And to all of you who took the time to read this, maybe the man with his shirt buttoned up wrong isn't a homeless bum.  Maybe the man who can't pay the cashier the correct amount of money isn't stupid.  Maybe he's someone's dad....and maybe he's mine. Just smile at him, and say Hello......he still has a killer smile!

What you have just read is a true story based on the experiences of Lisa. When I first read the story..It brought tears to my eyes and every time I have read it since then it has touched me in the same way. Because there are so many lessons to be learned from this experience...I knew it was a story that needed to be shared with the world.

If you have comments you would like to send to Lisa, You can e-mail me at: ANGELIZD and I will forward them to her.

My sincere thanks go out to Lisa for  allowing me to share her story with you all.

    Not wanting to fly on 9/11 which was Monday, I flew back home on Tuesday.  Although death and dying are a very normal part of the life cycle, funerals and viewings have never been easy for me.  Dad's viewing was Tuesday evening, and I have to say, now I'm glad we had it.  He looked better than he had for quite some time, and one corner of his mouth was slightly upturned like he was getting ready to smile.    The church service was Wednesday, then the graveside service was in a town 3 hours away on Thursday.

    These days were filled with family & friends, as well as coworkers and church friends.  We all got to hear stories about dad from people who knew him on a daily basis.  The recurring theme seemed to be that he was special, that there was just something about dad that was kind & special, and that everyone was his friend.

    This is the song I had played for that special man.  (I was very touched that so many hadn't heard the song, and that so many were very obviously moved by it.)

   When I Get Where I'm Goin'

When I get where I'm goin'
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
Run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm goin'
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm goin'
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

Yeah when I get where I'm goin'
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm goin'
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm goin'
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm goin'
Oh when I get where I'm goin'
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm goin'
Yeah when I get where I'm goin'

Sung By: Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton

      I love you, Dad! 
August 10, 1927- September 10, 2006.


Daddy's Hands

I remember daddy's hands folded silently in prayer
and reaching out to hold me when I had a nightmare
you could read quite a story in the caluses and lines
years of work and worry had left their mark behind

I remember daddy's hands how they held my momma tight
and patted my back for something done right
there are things that i've forgotten that I loved about the man
but I'll always remember the love in daddy's hands

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin
Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
there was always love in daddy's hands

I remember daddy's hands working til they bled
sacrificed unselfishly just to keep us all fed
If  I could do things over, I'd live my life again
and never take for granted the love in daddy's hands

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin
Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
there was always love in daddy's hands

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin
Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hand weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
there  was always love in daddy's hands

Sung By: Holly Dunn

A Father Is

There in every memory
See his love and care
Strength and hands to count on
Freely he does share
Provider toil so faithfully
To make our dreams come true
Give strong and tender discipline
Though it is hard to do
A father is God's chosen one
To lead the family
And point it to his will for life
Of  love and harmony

Author: Unknown