| The following is
a speech given by Stacey Malegni at various MADD occasions and high school
drug and alcohol awareness talks. Please pass this story on to as many
people as you can to help raise awareness for this cause and to help keep
Dominic Malegni alive in memory.
Before I introduce
myself, I would like to ask you to listen closely to the following story:
Picture if you would
a woman and two children driving down a very busy road of approximately
three lanes on either side of a large median.
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The
two children, a boy and a girl are in the back seat of the car, while the
woman is driving carefully, mindful of the children she so generously loves
in the rear. The three have just left a toy store and have just spent the
better part of the day together; laughing, joking, playing, hugging and
talking. The love they share is effortless, real and true.
Do you see them?
Try to imagine the deep love they share together.
The two children
are now discussing, with delight, what it is that they have just recieved |
at the store. One child,
the boy, has a paint set sitting on his lap that he has opened. His head
pointing downward as he looks at it with excitement.
Meanwhile the fate
that is to become them, enters the road way some ways back. The family
members continue their conversation, and the woman is unsuspecting of the
careless driver following from behind.
Picture the driver's
long dark hair covering part of his young face, still absorbed with alcohol
from the sleepless night before. He is talking to his friend beside him.
His drunken eyes struggling to see the road in front as he tries to make
the turn to the left.
Can you see him?
Try as he might,
he cannot do it. Maintaining control of the car is not within him. The
front tires are split while pieces of cement are thrown, as the car first
impacts the median. He is now air born, and then sent into the side of
the woman along with her precious cargo. The dark haired driver is three
times over the legal limit for the consumption of alcohol. Perhaps you
might wonder how he even made it into the car that day, or why his friend
trusted him to do so.
As I now picture
this family, as I hope you are, I am bothered with the thoughts of the
car plowing into the side of these loving people.
Can you picture it?
Replay the accident again in your head. Can you see it?
Can you see the blood,
and broken bones of the boy, and his beautiful face left perfectly intact?
Perhaps it's a chance for someone to see his angelic face one last time
before they say good bye to him.
Do you want to run
to him?
He is still trapped
in his car seat. The very seat that held him defenseless against this dreadful
car. His spider man shoes he loved so much are still on his feet, still
clutching the store bag and toys.
Do you want to take
his hand and tell him how much he is probably loved, as his still, little
body sits there?
Do you still want
to help him?
As much as you might
like to, you cannot. It is another who runs to him and puts her kind hand
on his forehead. Sadly, there is nothing she can do. The stranger kneels
down and cries because she has realized the boy she wanted desperately
to help is gone.
Perhaps there is
hope. Maybe God took the small boy, before the back of his head was laid
open, with the weapon of the vehicles deadly side view mirror.
The woman in front
is semi conscious. She is alive, but has serious internal injuries. The
crash was so violent that her seat belt has ripped into her delicate body.
Do you see her?
She is flown by helicopter
to the nearest critical care hospital. It will then take three weeks and
5 surgeries, but to no avail. Her family will soon be forced to turn off
her life support. They will continue for what seems, 30 eternal minutes,
watching in agony as her misery finally comes to an end.
Now, I want you to
picture, the arrival of the surviving family to the hospital where they
find the boy. They look down at his lifeless body, and then realize why
it was, just the girl, the policeman walked to the door that day.
The boy is still
lying there on the cold steel table.
Do you see him?
The white towel soaked
in his blood, covering the wounds around the back of his sweet head. The
family is now crying uncontrollably for the boy they loved so dearly. There
will be no more Birthdays for him, he had just turned five, and now is
forever frozen in time.
Before turning away
from this story, imagine that these are your family members. Perhaps it
is a sister, mother or aunt. Or father, uncle or brother. Perhaps it is
you with your own family.
My name is Stacey
Malegni, and the story that I have just narrated could have easily have
been yours or someone close to you. But, luckily for you, it was not.
This is not a fictional
story, but a tragic event in my own life.
Did you think I was
the girl in the car? Or, at first, the woman in the front seat?
I truly wish it had
been me instead of the ones I loved. I would have gladly have been a participant
in place of my mother in law in the front, or my son and daughter in the
back.
There is not a day
that goes by that I do not picture the violence of this accident. In fact,
I suppose I torture myself, playing it over and over, again and again in
my mind.
I often wonder why
I do this to myself. Do I think it will suddenly turn out differently?
Is it because I was not there to bear witness? I must not have thought
the worst could possibly happen to me, to us, and to our family. Because,
no one ever does.
It is so easy, as
I sit strapped in my own seat, day after day, to put myself in their position
on that terrible afternoon. I ask you to do the same when you sit inside
the safety of your own car.
It is easy, if you
try, to see them; as they were, what became of them, and how it has affected
my family's life. A husband living each painful day without his only son,
a daughter playing without her brother. And I looking on, at this family,
in the face of tragedy. A family that has been, and forever will be changed.
I'd like for you
to know, it is for my beautiful son that I am no longer afraid of dying,
as often many people are. I secretly long for that day to come in order
to see his beautiful face once more. For there is not one day that goes
by, that I do not fight the tears and the deafening agony of my heart,
overflowing into my head.
I try extremely hard
not to let it consume me, as it is a constant struggle for me to feel any
happiness at all. What's worse, is that this is how I am to live the rest
of my life....without him...a life without my son?
His name was Dominic
Malegni. He died on a busy Atlanta road, at 2 O'clock in the afternoon
on Sunday, November 7th, 2004. He was hit by a young man of just 19, an
illegal immigrant from Mexico, ironically with the intentions of having
a better life. He is now serving out his 20 year sentence in a federal
penitentiary.
Again, before you
turn away from this story, think about being an ambassador for this innocent
child. Tell others of him. Take with you his story into your heart and
think of others by choosing not to drink and drive. Or, by convincing someone
else to do the same.
Administrators, educators
and parents, empower your kids with this information. And teens,
stand up to the pressures of youth with conviction.
I am putting the
memory of my son, Dominic, in your hands. It is my hope, that with you,
his name will continue to live on and perhaps even save a life.
Thy Will Be
Done
"I'll lend you for
a little time
A child of mine,"
He said
"For you to love
there while he lives
And mourn for when
he's dead.
It may be six or
eleven years, or
twenty-two or three;
But will you, till
I call him back,
take care of him
for me?
He'll bring his
charm to gladden you,
and should his stay
be brief,
You'll have his
lovely memory
as solace for your
grief.
I cannot promise
he will stay
since all from earth
return;
But there are lessons
taught down there
I want this child
to learn.
I've looked this
wide world over
in my search for
teachers true.
And from the throungs
that crowd
life's lanes, I
have selected you;
For I know you'll
give him all your love
nor think the labor
vain,
Nor hate me when
I come to call
to take him back
again.
I fancy that I hear
you say
"Dear Lord, Thy
will be done
For all the joy
my child shall bring,
the risk of grief
we'll run;
We'll shelter him
with tenderness
We'll love him while
we may,
And for the happiness
we've known,
Forever grateful
stay.
But should the angels
call for him
Much sooner than
we've planned,
We'll brave the
bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.
Author:
Unknown
DOMINIC JOSEPH MALEGNI
Dominic Joseph Malegni,
age 5, of Woodstock, Georgia, passed away Sunday, November 7, 2004. Dominic
was the cherished son of Nick and Stacey Malegni and the adventurous little
brother of Nicole. Dominic is survived by his parents, Nick and Stacey
Malegni; his sister, Nicole; his paternal grandparents, Antoinette Russo
and Sam Malegni; his maternal grandparents, Pete and Paula Phillips and
Bruce Crow; his great-grandmother, Eileen Thomas; his aunt and uncle, Joseph
and Stacie Malegni; and his cousin, Joseph "Jake" William.
Dominic was in kindergarten
class at the American Heritage Academy in Canton, GA. He dearly loved his
teachers, classmates, friends and family. His favorite sport was Dodge
Ball. His favorite pastime was spending his allowance at the Dollar Store.
His best friend was his sister. His greatest comfort came from being in
the lap of his mom; and if you asked him who his hero was, he'd smile and
say confidently "my dad."
A prayer service
is scheduled for Wednesday, November 10 at 7 p.m. with visitation from
5 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Woodstock Funeral Home, 8855 Main St., Woodstock,
GA 30188. The memorial service is scheduled for 11 a.m. Thursday, November
11 at St. Michael the Archangel, 490 Arnold Mill Rd., Woodstock, GA 30188.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Children's
Health care of Atlanta Foundation in memory of Dominic Malegni, 1687 Tullie
Circle, N.E., Atlanta, GA 30329, 404-785-7300, www.choa.org/foundation.
Guest
Book
Published
in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on 11/10/2004.
When we lose our
parents, we are orphans,
When we lose our
spouse we are widows or widowers,
But there is no
word for a parent
Who has lost their
child.
"Grieving is a process.
It's okay to experience that process. To deny the bitterness of the sorrow
is to deny some of the sweetness of the comfort when it comes."
.
Chieko N. Okazaki
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