Desireé Yvonne Nelson

Kids Get Justice


 "I'm sorry, could you
 leave the courtroom please?"
"Yeah, sure, no problem,
this case is only about ME, but
 that's alright, I'll leave."
 'This is so messed up,'
 I think to myself,
 'they're in the wrong business
if they don't like talking to kids.'
Family Law judge,
 Please! That's bull!
'They don't like seeing their victims
as they subject them to torture.'
 "It's just like the firing squad,"
 I say aloud, "five possible criminals,
 and one single perpetrator...
 they can't handle seeing the criminals!"
Except kids suffering from abuse
are far from being the criminals.
When will kids get justice?

Copyright ©2003 ~ 2015
Desireé Yvonne Nelson

Imagine that you have been sexually molested. Imagine that the person who did this horrible thing to you is your own father. Imagine that you go to a judge and tell him about it. Imagine that the "system" ignores you and insists you go visit this man any way. Imagine being the mother of this child and being under threat of going to jail if you do not send your child to visit her molester.

Desireé, her mother and stepfather do not have to imagine this, they are living it. Below is Desireé's story in her own words. A life that NO ONE should have to live, least of all a child.

Overcoming Your Worst Fear
*The path that's safe to take*

     Being sexually abused, or being sexually molested is a difficult issue to overcome. If sexual abuse goes on for years without your knowledge of it being wrong, sometimes getting out of a situation so traumatizing is a traumatic experience in and of itself. You need all the help and support you can get, and you have to believe in yourself.

     Just recently I discovered I was sexually molested by my biological father, Ed, starting when I was about three. I am 14 now, so I have the  understanding that what Ed did was wrong. Ed would get into the tub with me, masturbate, and ejaculate on me. That, with his constant sexual innuendo, sex talks, and absurd online activities, all made me uncomfortable around him. But I never knew why until recently. 

     After a horrendous school year of not knowing when I'd visit him, him not being "able to afford" me, along with maybe one insincere email, I told my Mom and Daddy that I wanted to call Ed to ask him ONE MORE TIME to let Daddy adopt me. My Daddy and I have always had a father/daughter relationship, even though he is lawfully my "stepfather". But he deserves the title "Daddy" because, as I was telling Mom, he not only HAS time for me everyday; he MAKES time for me. 

     I had a screaming match (via telephone) with Ed for over an hour, me begging him to let me have what I want; him yelling that because my mom doesn't have a PHYSICAL relationship with him, he has the right to deny my wants (and needs). Due to the corrupt justice system, we have to "ask permission" from Ed to get a legalized adoption. For years, I have been denied this. I know that I can't physically take another four years of this, and I know I won't psychologically survive another YEAR of torture. 

     When I got off the phone with Ed, I fell to the ground, crying. When I finally found the dignity to stand up, I was shaking with anger and trembling with sadness (don't ask me how I felt both at the same time, I still don't get it). I was still crying, but I crawled into my Mom's lap (even at 13) and Mom, Daddy and I sat talking for what seemed like forever. I somehow found the words to tell Mom and Daddy that I had a feeling deep inside me that I was not a virgin. 

     Not only was this a shocker for Mom and Daddy; it was a shocker for me because it was such a blatant statement that it was like an explosion inside my heart. But after I considered how I came to such a conclusion, it made sense to me. 

     Every night I get very little sleep because of me horrendous flashbacks that make me toss and turn in my futon, all the while trembling in a soaking sweat. I find small dents in the wall from me punching the air in violent nightmares, me imagining myself punching the tar out of Ed. I'm never violent in my waking hours, so these "dreams" are anything but. 

     After I told Mom and Daddy about this, I told my psychologist, who I've been seeing four years now. She is a mandated reporter and reported this to the state. At that point, a Department of Child Services worker came to our house and interviewed me, then my parents separately, then all three of us. She called a female police officer to the house, thinking it'd be easy for me to maybe talk to a female officer who could potentially help me.

     The police and DDS reports came back; basically, they knew it happened but without actual evidence (they'd have to do a rape kit), there was no way to prove it. 

     So I decided that I'd need Mom and Daddy to help me contact child advocacy groups, the readers of Mom's Erin, legal people with power; anyone we could...just to get some justice and closure. This has always been a strain for the whole family, my grandparents and parents and I. So we all started contacting anyone and everyone from Tiny Tim to the Head of State. 

     For me, it's always been tough to ask for help. I really hit rock bottom when I made my conclusion. All those years, nightmares and flashbacks haunting me...I thought I was crazy. There's no doubt that Ed molested me. I am trying so hard to overcome this. I honestly do not know if I ever will. I know that I will not forgive Ed for this; he purposely abused me for years, then denied it when put under the spotlight. 

     If there's any advice I hand out here on this page, it's this: If you think it happened or you know it happened, it probably did. And please don't be afraid to tell someone you trust your feelings regarding it. Even if your life seems hopeless, there's always someone there for you to talk to, even if it's a teddy bear! I take out my anger, frustration, confusion, etc., in journalizing and poetry writing. And if worst comes to worst, I am always here with an open ear. Feel free to comment back to me on what you think.

Below is what Desiree wrote to Virginia 
Delegates and representatives:

Dear Virginia State Representatives and Elected Officials:

     For the past two years, I have been working through the horrid memories of my biological father molesting me starting when I was about 3 (I'm 14 now) and ending, I don't know when. I have talked to the Human Services Agency / Child Protective Services and the Police Department of my hometown (Simi Valley, Ca.), regarding this matter. But as this occurred so long ago, there's no way to determine actual evidence of such a crime. However, I know that he molested me, which is why I am writing to you.

         A powerful judge in Virginia, Judge Rideout, (one that y'all voted in) is trying to force me back to my biological father's hands, despite my allegations and the police and HSA / CPS reports. He won't release jurisdiction to the state of California, despite me living here with my Mom for almost six years, and we moved out here with his permission! 

     In fact, my Guardian ad Litem, Johnathan Westrich, told me that my allegations were "irrelevant and unimportant" to the case. He also said that my interest in MY OWN CASE was "inappropriate" and unacceptable because I was "just a kid" (his words, not mine). I am 14 years old; I know the difference between a lie and the truth; I know the difference between right and wrong. And what my biological father, his lawyer, my Guardian ad Litem, and Judge Rideout have subjected me to is UNFAIR and UNJUST and WRONG. 

     In the state of Virginia, children are regarded as property; elected persons and judges only recognize physical abuse (broken bones, bleeding, bruises) and not sexual, emotional, mental, or psychological.  My biological father has also severely physically abused me, but you state representatives won't recognize it either. I desperately want a normal life; I am SOOO sick of this. Please Help Me.

Sincerely, Desireé Nelson

see the website: http://www.directoryoflinks.com/desiree/declaration.html  (NOTE: Checking this link today, June 13, 2014, it is not longer active)
My declaration, my biological father's "activities", recent updates regarding our case.

My Biological father: 
Edward F. Bongiovanni, 
-address removed by
site owner-
Alexandria, VA.
22311

You can e-mail the judge in this case and let him know what you think:

Judge Rideout
bmrideout@ol.com


Back To Desiree's Story
Desireé graciously answered some questions for me.
You can read them by clicking below:
Questions & Answers





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