case is only
about ME, but
talking to kids.'
seeing their victims
them to torture.'
the firing squad,"
seeing the criminals!"
will kids get
that you have
been sexually molested. Imagine that the person who did this horrible
to you is your own father. Imagine that you go to a judge and tell him
about it. Imagine that the "system" ignores you and insists you go
this man any way. Imagine being the mother of this child and being
threat of going to jail if you do not send your child to visit her
mother and stepfather do not have to imagine this, they are living it.
Below is Desireé's story in her own words. A life that NO ONE
have to live, least of all a child.
safe to take*
Being sexually abused, or being sexually molested is a difficult issue
to overcome. If sexual abuse goes on for years without your knowledge
it being wrong, sometimes getting out of a situation so traumatizing is
a traumatic experience in and of itself. You need all the help and
you can get, and you have to believe in yourself.
Just recently I discovered I was sexually molested by my biological
Ed, starting when I was about three. I am 14 now, so I have the
that what Ed did was wrong. Ed would get into the tub with me,
and ejaculate on me. That, with his constant sexual innuendo, sex
and absurd online activities, all made me uncomfortable around him. But
I never knew why until recently.
After a horrendous school year of not knowing when I'd visit him, him
being "able to afford" me, along with maybe one insincere email, I told
my Mom and Daddy that I wanted to call Ed to ask him ONE MORE TIME to
Daddy adopt me. My Daddy and I have always had a father/daughter
even though he is lawfully my "stepfather". But he deserves the title
because, as I was telling Mom, he not only HAS time for me everyday; he
MAKES time for me.
I had a screaming match (via telephone) with Ed for over an hour, me
him to let me have what I want; him yelling that because my mom doesn't
have a PHYSICAL relationship with him, he has the right to deny my
(and needs). Due to the corrupt justice system, we have to "ask
from Ed to get a legalized adoption. For years, I have been denied
I know that I can't physically take another four years of this, and I
I won't psychologically survive another YEAR of torture.
When I got off the phone with Ed, I fell to the ground, crying. When I
finally found the dignity to stand up, I was shaking with anger and
with sadness (don't ask me how I felt both at the same time, I still
get it). I was still crying, but I crawled into my Mom's lap (even at
and Mom, Daddy and I sat talking for what seemed like forever. I
found the words to tell Mom and Daddy that I had a feeling deep inside
me that I was not a virgin.
Not only was this a shocker for Mom and Daddy; it was a shocker for me
because it was such a blatant statement that it was like an explosion
my heart. But after I considered how I came to such a conclusion, it
sense to me.
Every night I get very little sleep because of me horrendous flashbacks
that make me toss and turn in my futon, all the while trembling in a
sweat. I find small dents in the wall from me punching the air in
nightmares, me imagining myself punching the tar out of Ed. I'm never
in my waking hours, so these "dreams" are anything but.
After I told Mom and Daddy about this, I told my psychologist, who I've
been seeing four years now. She is a mandated reporter and reported
to the state. At that point, a Department of Child Services worker came
to our house and interviewed me, then my parents separately, then all
of us. She called a female police officer to the house, thinking it'd
easy for me to maybe talk to a female officer who could potentially
The police and DDS reports came back; basically, they knew it happened
but without actual evidence (they'd have to do a rape kit), there was
way to prove it.
So I decided that I'd need Mom and Daddy to help me contact child
groups, the readers of Mom's Erin, legal people with power; anyone we
to get some justice and closure. This has always been a strain for the
whole family, my grandparents and parents and I. So we all started
anyone and everyone from Tiny Tim to the Head of State.
For me, it's always been tough to ask for help. I really hit rock
when I made my conclusion. All those years, nightmares and flashbacks
me...I thought I was crazy. There's no doubt that Ed molested me. I am
trying so hard to overcome this. I honestly do not know if I ever will.
I know that I will not forgive Ed for this; he purposely abused me for
years, then denied it when put under the spotlight.
If there's any advice I hand out here on this page, it's this: If you
it happened or you know it happened, it probably did. And please don't
be afraid to tell someone you trust your feelings regarding it. Even if
your life seems hopeless, there's always someone there for you to talk
to, even if it's a teddy bear! I take out my anger, frustration,
etc., in journalizing and poetry writing. And if worst comes to worst,
I am always here with an open ear. Feel free to comment back to me on
is what Desiree wrote to Virginia
Representatives and Elected Officials:
For the past two years, I have been working through the horrid memories
of my biological father molesting me starting when I was about 3 (I'm
now) and ending, I don't know when. I have talked to the Human Services
Agency / Child Protective Services and the Police Department of my
(Simi Valley, Ca.), regarding this matter. But as this occurred so long
ago, there's no way to determine actual evidence of such a crime.
I know that he molested me, which is why I am writing to you.
A powerful judge in Virginia, Judge Rideout, (one that y'all voted in)
is trying to force me back to my biological father's hands, despite my
allegations and the police and HSA / CPS reports. He won't release
to the state of California, despite me living here with my Mom for
six years, and we moved out here with his permission!
In fact, my Guardian ad Litem, Johnathan Westrich, told me that my
were "irrelevant and unimportant" to the case. He also said that my
in MY OWN CASE was "inappropriate" and unacceptable because I was "just
a kid" (his words, not mine). I am 14 years old; I know the difference
between a lie and the truth; I know the difference between right and
And what my biological father, his lawyer, my Guardian ad Litem, and
Rideout have subjected me to is UNFAIR and UNJUST and WRONG.
In the state of Virginia, children are regarded as property; elected
and judges only recognize physical abuse (broken bones, bleeding,
and not sexual, emotional, mental, or psychological. My
father has also severely physically abused me, but you state
won't recognize it either. I desperately want a normal life; I am SOOO
sick of this. Please Help Me.
http://www.directoryoflinks.com/desiree/declaration.html (NOTE: Checking this
link today, June 13, 2014, it is not longer active)
my biological father's "activities", recent updates regarding our case.
can e-mail the
judge in this case and let him know what you think:
To Desiree's Story
graciously answered some questions for me.
You can read them by clicking below: