The Memory
Jar
In September 1999, my
mom was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer.
Needless to say,
the next few months were a blur of just trying to accept what was happening
and getting through the day for all of us family members.
When December came
I was really struggling for an idea of what to get my parents for Christmas.
I wanted to get them something really special, but my funds were pretty
tight and my parents have never been into material things anyway.
For some reason,
I remembered that I had read about a "Memory Jar". It's just a jar or box
that you fill with slips of paper that you write on with memories of growing
up. I was amazed at how many memories came flooding back to
me once I sat down to think about it. I had to write
them down as soon
as I thought of them or I would forget them, so I had notes at home, in
the car, at work, they were all over!
About a week before
Christmas I sat down and wrote them on nice stationery and put them
in the jar.
I'll tell you --
it was quite an experience.
What amazed me was
that most of the memories weren't of "big things", they were of small things,
like mom making us tea, toast and jello water when we were sick as kids,
or me always having toast with peanut butter whenever we had tomato soup
for lunch. Of course there were big things too, like when I got married,
or how my parents looked when they held my babies for the first time.
It was really emotional for me to write all these down, but once I did
it, I felt wonderful!
Then I started to
get nervous about how my parents would take this gift. My family is close,
but we're not overly sentimental or affectionate. So on Christmas morning
I wrote a letter to go with the jar explaining what it was and that they
could read a few memories a day, or all of them, but they had to wait until
they were alone.
I waited until everyone
had left their house on Christmas and then I went over to see what
they thought.
They told me that
they had decided that they were only going to read a few that night and
then they were going to read a few every day until the jar was empty
(there were about 100 in there).
Well, they got started
and couldn't stop! They ended up reading all of them that night!
They both told me
that it was one of the best presents that they had ever received and it
showed them that they did a good job at being parents and it really is
the little things in life that count!
I would recommend
everyone doing this for the people they love. I now know that no
matter what happens with my mom's illness, she knows how much I love her
and my father and what a great impact they have had on my life!
It must have had
an impact on them too because the Memory Jar now has a prominent place
right on their kitchen counter so everyone sees it when they come in.
Author: Karen
Retzlaff
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